Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is
narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal.
Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer comes to him and
says, "Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's
never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do,
don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!" The
wrestler nods in agreement.

Now, to the match: The American and the Russian circle each other several
times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunges forward,
grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A
sigh of disappointment goes up from the crowd, and the trainer buries his
face in his hands for he knows all is lost. He can't watch the ending.

Suddenly there's a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raises
his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The
Russian's back hits the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapses
on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.

The trainer is astounded! When he finally gets the American wrestler
alone, he asks, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever
done it before!" The wrestler answers, "Well, I was ready to give up when
he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw
this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to
lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit
those babies just as hard as I could.
You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own testicles!!!"