You Might Be Addicted to Online Chat if...

.....Tech Support calls YOU for help.
.....Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL.
.....You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.
.....You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"
.....You want to meet a girl/guy and your first impulse is to turn on your computer.
.....You have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's.
.....You've ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone"
.....You go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail letting everyone know you are going to be away.
.....You no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences.
.....You begin to say heh heh heh instead of laughing.
.....You just HAVE to check your mail one last time before you go to bed, even though you were on only five minutes ago.
.....You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is alseep.
.....You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are on-line again.
.....You know more about your Online friends daily routines than you do your own spouses.
.....You find yourself lying to others about your time on-line and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook.
.....You have an identity crisis if someone else is using an s/n close to your own.
.....You would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (all night on-line)
.....You're broke, your modem burns out and you go out onto the streets to sell your body to get a new one.
.....You open your home to 15 strangers for a week merely because they have computers and cool s/n's.
.....Your kids are standing at your side saying "mommy, please come cook dinner" and you would rather type another "LOL"
.....You marry your cyberboyfriend and you both sit at your own computers and chat to each other every night from across the room.
.....You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.
.....Your dog leaves you.
.....You have to ask what year it is.
.....You are doing things more and more that you swore you would never, ever do when you first found chat.
.....You smile sideways.
.....You have a map on the wall with red thumbtacks to mark where people you have met are.
.....You look at an annoying person off-line and wish you had your ignore button handy.
.....You use Online lingo in everyday life (if you still have one...hehehe)
.....You have to inject no-doze into your butt to keep it awake.
.....You wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to come home from work.
.....Your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had.
.....You actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted.
.....You can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your tv-screen at the end of a movie.
.....Being called a newbie is a *MAJOR* insult.
.....You double click your tv remote.
.....You have to be pryed from your computer with the Jaws-of-Life.
.....Your last sexual experience was really just a "textual" experience.
.....You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to "check your mail" and while you were there you "just wanted to see who's on"
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